Anxiety of the TBR List

Anxiety of the TBR List

The above linked article is about how we handle our bookshelves when it comes to the books we want to read – the TBR list – “To Be Read” list. I fall into the “I don’t think counting them would be good for my anxiety” group.

I already knew that I have anxiety over time. Will I get somewhere on time? How long will it take? How much can I get done? How many things can I schedule in a period of time? The article talks about that, and how the anxiety about how many books you want to read, and wanting to read them all at once, is really time anxiety. How many of these books can I actually read?

It also discusses that reading a new book has a different feeling than reading a book that has been waiting, unread, on your shelf for a long time. Was that book being on the shelf a way to comfort yourself? Does it remind you of a certain time and place, or even a person, that you were thinking of when you bought or received it?

I plan on getting some of my books read this year. How many of them will be on paper? I hope to find out.


I have been thinking a lot about my anxiety. I took a patient quiz for a potential doctor, thinking that my ADHD is finally getting to a point where I may need medication. According to the results of the patient quiz, it seems that my anxiety is ruling my thoughts and setting off my ADHD. I assumed it was the other way around. It also could have been the day of the week. Some days, anxiety is high. Others, not so much.

The below cartoon from Gemma Correll shows tea with anxiety. It’s humorous, but really on point. I guess that if tea could talk, and had anxiety, this would be what it’s saying.

Re-entry Anxiety

Re-entry anxiety

The above linked article tells about anxiety about ending the quarantine and shelter in place. Now that many of us have gotten vaccinated, it has become a possibility to enter back into society.

The color tiers are slowly going away, and it seems that the state of California will be opening full very shortly.

Will we be taking masks off soon, or is it still too early? Have we been put into a state of paranoia or is it real? Only time will tell.

Google reminders

I have learned that my brain works best when I can write things down and forget about them for a while. Putting it on paper makes me dwell on the thing that I need to do less, so I can concentrate on other things instead. Then, I’ll get back to the items I wrote down.

The only issue I’ve had with this is when I’m driving. Writing and driving is frowned upon. I learned that OK Google is great for jotting things down when I’m driving. The downfall to it is that I have to choose a time to be reminded. I spend time thinking about if I want to do it today, tomorrow, next month, etc. Then, what time works for a reminder. If I set it too early, I’ll ignore it. If I set it too late, I’m already home and have passed where I need to go.

It is a work in progress, but I’m getting there. Keeping the ducks in a row. The bees are in a jar.

Double booking myself

As many of you know, I live by my calendar. If it isn’t on the calendar, it probably doesn’t happen.

My phone had broken, and the replacement phone hadn’t come in yet, so I didn’t have my calendar readily available for a couple of days. I knew generally about what was coming up, but not really specifically.

I needed to get new tires on one car and oil changes on two. I scheduled one car’s oil change and the tire change for the same day and time so my daughter could drive her car in while I drove the other. I worked around her schedule, forgetting to look at my own.

I ended up doing a Zoom meeting for school at the auto repair place while trying to juggle the cars.

I managed this one by the skin of my teeth, but I did. It caused unnecessary anxiety, and I’m hoping to not try this one again. Less stress and anxiety this year, I hope.

High Functioning Anxiety

I found this on These are so me! The website/blog is worth checking out. There are some good tips there for dealing with anxiety and depression. The list below shows the signs of high functioning anxiety. It shows that what’s on the surface isn’t always what’s going on below.

I am not quiet about my anxiety, because I find that if others know what my problem is, they give me a break, a little. I have people who tell me that I don’t have anxiety because I don’t look like I am struggling. I am. Note how I write everything down and put everything on the calendar? That’s because my world will fall apart if I don’t.

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I do have friends who make fun of my time anxiety, though. One friend, knowing that my fear of flying is really a fear of missing the plane, doesn’t put up with my getting to the airport two hours before my flight. I will no longer share a ride with her when I fly. Thankfully, this isn’t often.

Spinning my wheels

I have anxiety issues over time. Schedules that get changed or not given to me make me anxious. I have full blown panic attacks sometimes.

Last week, only one of my online classes was opened on time. They were supposed to be released at 12:01am on the 19th. One wasn’t released until the afternoon of the 19th, but it was still within the time line that I couldn’t complain much.

One instructor emailed at 10am to tell us that we had a zoom meeting at 4 pm the same day. He didn’t release his class until almost 11:50pm on the 20th. Not only did I have to rearrange my schedule to accommodate the last minute announcement of the zoom meeting, but I couldn’t plan ahead by putting assignments on the calendar.

I am still not sure what made me think I can take three classes this semester. I will do it and I will excel, but I hope they stop messing with my schedule.

Anxiety Is not a Choice

Anxiety is not a choice

Spouse of person with anxiety

The above linked articles talk about anxiety. It is difficult living with anxiety and difficult for those living with the person to cope with it, too. Telling the person “just relax” is not helping the situation at all. It’s really not a choice, but just the way the person’s brain works.

Some days are good, some are bad. It depends on many things. Stress level, amount of sleep, diet, medication, etc. It varies from day to day. Each person copes differently. Different things work for different people and the level of anxiety is different from person to person. Many people try to hide their anxiety, but those who know them well can usually tell. Be patient and use tools that help your loved one, after you find out what works for him or her.