Doorway lessons

I stopped at Starbucks the other morning. I could not get in because a woman who was waiting for her coffee decided that she’d stand in the middle of the doorway so no one else could get coffee, either. At that moment, I realized that no one is teaching lessons in doorway etiquette. I could make a fortune at this!

I will give a free sample here, in hopes that others will realize they, or someone they know, would benefit from my tutelage. Here is an intro:

Step one – decide which side of the door you would like to be on. If you are on the opposite side of the door that you’d like to be on, think about how you will get there.

Step two – decide if the door is open or closed. If the door is closed, proceed to step 3. If the door is open, proceed to step 4.

Step 3 – Attempt to turn the handle. If the door is unlocked, turn the handle and open the door. Proceed to step 4.

Step 4 – Go ALL THE WAY through the doorway. Do NOT stop on the threshold. Preferably, step at least 3 to 4 feet past the doorway, so that others can start their journeys through the doorway. They will be starting at step one, so please leave them enough room.

Steps 5 and up will cover holding doors open for the people behind you, receiving doors from people in front of you, and what to do once you are actually through the doorway.

After you have completed the doorway course, you can sign up for the advanced classes. These will include elevator etiquette and freeway exit etiquette. I’ll be handing fliers out at the freeway exit for the airport, since everyone seems to stop there randomly anyway.

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